Left unchecked by introspection and untempered by time, sheer, unbridled enthusiasm often leads to stop gap reactions, perilous hyperbole and ultimately regrettable assertions of merit (e.g. “For my first time through, this new Jazon Mraz record isn’t half bad a t’all.”). Thus, I wanted to wait at least a day or two before sharing a picture from what is - in my most humble opinion - the greatest TV show to ever air in the entire documented history of airing TV shows…Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels.
First off, I snapped this directly off my big brother’s 50 inch, Samsung plasma television. (“Eat the rich,” isn’t that right Lemmy?) Secondly, and you must know this, this was the first episode.
Third of all, that is indeed a nipple, with just a pinch of areola, peaking out from behind Gia’s little black whore dress. How her left (your right) nip slip evaded VH1’s bevy of celebreality censors, I’ll never know. They cut an entire scene where Gia here received a body shot in her birth canal from the faceless cum repository you see pictured bursting out of her yellow slut uniform (who, incidentally, had her “FUCK YOU” finger tattoo post-pixelated the entire show). And they missed this!?! Obviously, Bret Michaels sure didn’t. And that’s why I take back everything I’ve ever said about him, his hair, his music, and his penis as seen in the original Pam Anderson sex tape.
From the Brazilian choke holds, to the head case working on her PhD in storytelling, to the turgid rap yellow slut uniform had scrawled on the back of an STD pamphlet, I could go on about these tits with daddy issues for another 5,000 words. All you have to know, really, is that I’ll be watching this vaginal trainwreck every Sunday at 9 p.m. on my big brother’s 50 inch, Samsung plasma television. And if you like seeing something that looks like women set the feminine plight back at least 100 years, you should, too.